Those are the only three options I’ve heard. It’s kinda sad really. Nobody’s a winner, but there are many losers. And then there’s the question about what to do about the banks. This is the 3rd straight decade they have screwed our economy in the name of big bucks. In the 80s, it was the Savings & Loan Crisis. Seeking bigger returns, banks took incredible risks, knowing that FDIC insured all their deposits. In the 90s, it was derivatives. The moral of that story is that credit ratings can be bought and banks will do anything for the right fee. (Side note: If you want an inside look at how the large investment banks used to operate before this crisis, I highly recommend Frank Partnoy’s F.I.A.S.C.O. This book will show you how banks simply hire and pay really smart people to screw the less smart while making a ton of money. I don’t’ have a problem with this, per se, but it’s important to realize it happens.)

And then there’s the mortgage crisis of the 2008/2009. Mortgages were thought to be guaranteed by the Feds, money was cheap, and everybody was making money on mortgages. The way to make money was more, more, more. Don’t worry if the people have the income to pay this back – that’s so tomorrow, and if they don’t, the Feds will back us. It was thought that we can’t lose, and if we do, enough of us would lose so that the Federal government would bail out the banks. And they have, and continue too.

Again, I don’t know the answers here. I only know one thing. There is not-so-recent phenomenon in business called “Too Big to Fail.” Chrysler’s bailout in early 1980s might have been the first, but since then, we’ve seen Long Term Capital (a hedge fund), General Motors, and a litany of banks all receive government arranged and/or backed loans or cash because they are too big to fail. Too many people would lose their jobs. Too big a drag on our markets. This is a horrible president to set for our industries.

Consider this scenario: You are CEO of XYX Corp, a large company that employs over 100,000 workers and has hundreds of feeder companies that rely on your business. Your CFO comes to you with two growth strategies. The first one is wild, real outside the box stuff, and pretty risky. If you pull it off, you can grow revenue by over 50%. You’ll be hailed a business genius, complete with book deals, CNBC interviews, and a speaking tour. Bonus and equity deal will make you a multi-millionaire. You’ll be set for life. But if it fails…the whole company could be risk.

The second plan is boring, and focuses on sustainable revenue growth of 7-9%. It’s not risky, sort of funds itself, and really wouldn’t do much but make the shareholders nod appreciatively. But let’s face it, nobody’s gonna buy the book from the guy that grew revenue 7%, just like nobody’s gonna buy the golf book from the guys who always shoots 86.

Which do you pick? Well, under our current regime, I’m picking the first one. To hell with risk; if the plan bombs, then I’ll just go to Capitol Hill, hat in hand, and talk about how the government better bail us out or hundreds of thousands of jobs are gone. Whole communities will board up. Sure, I’ll probably have to resign, but my severance will keep a roof over my head. Probably a really nice roof. And, in a few years somebody will hire me, and the cycle will begin anew.

“You have no idea how hard it is to chase a 2 year old around all day.”

That’s true, I don’t . But I know people who chase 20-30 around all day. They are called daycare workers, and they typically make about $10-$15 per hour. So either it’s not that hard, or there are a ton of people willing to do it. You know what else is hard? Trying to reason with stupid people. Or getting screamed at by a client. I once had a highly-paid government employee , upon hearing some bad news about the software we were working with, scream at me for 5 minutes, and then burst into tears and run away. That sounds a lot like 2-year-old behavior, but at least you don’t have to shower and get dressed up to see your 2-year-old act that way.

“My husband says he could never do my job.”

Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that your husband says that because A) he’s a moron who cannot care for children (and likely should have skipped procreating), B) he’s tries to make you feel important about staying home with junior, or C) he hates spending time with his kids. There is really no other option. So, SAHM, think about that the next time hubby lays that line on you.

“I miss the challenge of my career.”

Really? What kind of job did you have? Were fairies involved? I don’t hate my job, but I do it to make money. If I didn’t need the money, I wouldn’t do it. But, of all the standard complaints, this one holds at small amount of water. I know some people like to work and like their jobs, it’s a part of their ego, and it can be hard when that goes away. However, it kills me when a woman on kid #2 or #3 says that. Wait a minute? You had one kid. You knew that missing of the career part. Then you had another. And then another. Now I have no sympathy.

Overall, here’s the great thing about living in 2009. We have wonderful birth control methods that allow you to control reproduction. If you have one kid, and find out that it’s really hard, or you miss work, or you can’t stay home with a kid all day, then ride the first one out, get on the pill, and be done with it. But don’t waste my time whining about how hard it is to get a Pack-and-Play out of your SUV every day. It just makes you sound stupid. Just be thankful you don’t have to work and be a mom. Now that’s hard.

The stimulus bill in the Senate is the epitome of what is wrong with politics in American today.   Our economy has hit a rough patch.  President-elect Obama says that we could use some fiscal stimulus to get us out of this recession, and we could get some of our infrastructure fixed to boot.  That all sounded like a pretty good idea.  But insert that idea into our polarized, partisan political environment, and the wheels fall off.  The idea is sound.  The bill is bad.  And both parties are to blame for how this got screwed up.

DEMOCRATS:  “Yes we can.”  The new party in power was going to get the trains running again and put American back to work.  The time to act was now.  But the Democrats just couldn’t control themselves as long as the tab was open.  Only 13% for the original stimulus bill had anything to do with infrastructure.  There were big chunks in there to extend unemployment benefits, unemployed health insurance and aid to states.  All that was fine.  But then there were the unusual items; the items that don’t really seem related to stimulus.  Millions of dollars for the CDC to raise AIDS awareness.  Millions of dollars for climate change studies.  Are there lots of unemployed meteorologists out there?  How is this going to help a machinist in Toledo?  I mean, this is deficit spending here.  We should have some discretion on what we do with the money.  Plus, these easy targets allowed an isolated Republican minority to point out that Obama & Company were just the same old tax-and-spend Democrats, and progress ground to a halt.  Stupid.   A smartly written bill could have sailed through Congress.  Now even some Democrats are questioning large chunks of the $900B tab.

And then there is the irresponsible way President Obama has pressed the stimulus.  Almost daily, he stands in front of a bank of microphones to say that, if we don’t pass this stimulus bill, it’s going to be 1931 all over again.  Depression the likes of which Americans have never seen.  Dust bowls.  Locusts.  Plague. 

I’m not economic expert.  I don’t know if he’s right or not.  But even if he is right, he’s not helping the situation.  Consumer spending is a large part of our economy.  As house values and 401k values drop, people feel poorer, even though their monthly disposable income may be unchanged.  So they lower their consumption.  And every time Mr. “Yes We Can” stands up to read from the “Grapes of Wrath,” he further tightens people’s spending.  Maybe 5% less people decide to eat out for dinner.  Maybe 10% decide to forgo a vacation.  That’s real money hurting real businesses that provide real jobs.  So I don’t really care whether President Obama is right and/or whether beating down the economy is a shrewd political move.  It’s irresponsible.  

REPUBLICANS:  Not to be outdone, the Moral Minority has said some stupid things too.  I will give the Republicans credit for pointing out some of the questionable items in the stimulus, and reminding us all that this is deficit spending – we are borrowing from the future here, so we might want to do it somewhat wisely.  But that is where the intelligence ends.  The Republicans want more tax cuts.  In theory it sounds like a good idea, but it’s fiscally irresponsible.  Forget the stimulus package for a minute.  Our deficit is big and getting bigger, in large part because the last administration decided to expand the welfare state by giving drugs to old people.   They financed this buy cutting taxes.  I thought the Republicans were the business party.   Increasing costs while lowering revenue is bad for business, and you don’t need an MBA to know that. 

Look, I ‘d love to see my taxes lowered.  But I’d also prefer to live in a country that is not leveraged to the hilt like some South American nation.  If you want to cut taxes, the only responsible way to do it is to make a corresponding cut in spending.  Otherwise, that deficit the Republicans are so worried about grows.  Plus, unemployed people don’t pay a lot in taxes, so I’m not sure how much tax cuts will help.

So here we are.  The Democrats are arguing that growing trans-gender studies is going to put America back to work.  Our president s giving anti-Roosevelt speeches; we have everything to fear including fear itself.  And the Republicans want to cut taxes for an increasingly unemployed populous.  The fact that our country is prosperous is more a tribute to capitalism than it is our current representative government.

·         Kudos the Cardinals for not folding their tent after that gut-punch turnover right before the half.  My god, that was awful. 

·         Kudos to me and my buddy who accurately predicted the Warner INT before the half.  We only missed it by 6 plays or so.

·         Kudos to me for going 7-4 in the playoffs, and winning on my last 3 Super Bowl bets.

·         I did miss on the over/under, but it was close.  Zona just needed one last stop.  Damn.  I’da hit Sizzler if that hit.

·         I left the Cardinals for dead no less than 3 times.  They simply would not quit.  Very impressive effort by that crew.  I don’t want to sounds like a middle school soccer dad, but they should hold their heads up.  They played a great game.  It was a shame somebody had to lose.  It felt a little like last year’s US Open golf playoff at Torrey Pines.  You didn’t want to see Tiger or Rocco lose, but you knew somebody had to.

·         Overall, I thought the officiating was fine until after Pittsburgh’s winning touchdown.  I was glad they didn’t flag the Steelers for piling on Holmes after the winning TD.  However, how do you not flag Holmes for unsportsmanlike conduct after he used the football as prop for his LaBron/talc celebration?  That was blatant.  Whether or not you dig the rule, there is no question that he broke it.  15 yards means the Steelers kick-off from their own 15, which could have changed a lot for the Card’s final drive.  And how in the world do you not review the Warner fumble to end the game?  I’m not saying it was or wasn’t a fumble, but how do you not review it.  That’s why there’s replay.  Take the two minutes.  That was bad.  It seemed like the refs just wanted to get out of there after the Holmes game-winning TD.

·         All year I kept saying I didn’t buy the Steelers. Maybe it was because they won ugly, and I focused on the ugly.  But there’s no getting around it now.  They Steelers are a great team, Ben is a very good QB, Santonio Holmes is a great receiver, and they are a worthy world champion.   

And now probably the most notable item from this year’s Super Bowl:  The awful commercials.  No wonder our economy is slow.  Companies are spending millions on the most lifeless, boring wastes-of-30-seconds.  And there were some real train wrecks this year.  What are the Budweiser people thinking?  The lovey-dovey Clydesdale commercials made me not want to drink Bud to help make sure I don’t see those commercials next year.  And Audi – sorry whatever that was didn’t do anything for me.  Bridgestone?  Nice try.   Seriously, how hard is it to make a funny, fun, memorable commercial for the Super Bowl. 

I don’t know a thing about marketing, but I do know businesses, particularly large, bureaucratic businesses like the ones that can afford these commercials.  There are likely waves upon waves of approvals before these things get on the air.  And how these things get through those approvals is beyond me.    So let me try to offer some help to these people who so desperately need it.

1.       Funny is always better than sweet.  This is not an After School Special.  People are watching this game with friends, while drinking and eating, and generally trying to have a good time.  A majority of viewers are men.  We prefer to laugh.  How do you think Will Farrell made all that money?  Plus, we remember things that are funny.  We look them up on You Tube to remember how funny they are.  We talk about how funny they are with our buddies.  The easiest way to me memorable is to be funny.

2.       Of course funny is subjective.  But, there are several fail-safe funnies that you can beat like a drum.  The most popular are babies and animals (particularly monkeys) that are acting like people.  Look at history.  The CareerBuilder monkeys and E*Trade babies are particularly memorable ads.

3.       When in absolute doubt, slapstick violence is typically funny, particularly a man getting hit in the crotch with something. 

4.       If funny’s not your thing, might I suggest some hot chicks in sexually suggestive situations.  (The Go Daddy people are geniuses at this.)

Let’s make Super Bowl XLIV better than XLIII.

And, with that, we are done with the NFL for a while.  At least until draft time.  That part is always kinda bittersweet. Drink an Iron City for me, Steeler fans.

Vegas did a pretty good job with this line.  It opened with the Steelers giving 6.5 or 7, and hasn’t moved. The sports yak world seems to think this game will come down to the Steelers D vs. the high-scoring offense of the Cardinals.  I agree with TMQ on ESPN.com who says the game will be won between the Cardinals D vs. the Steelers offense.  Can Cardinals slow down Willie Parker, and contain Big Ben? 

Steelers (-7) vs. CARDINALS

I’ve gone back and forth for two weeks.  I can write a bunch of stuff here about offenses and defenses, but you’ve probably heard it all before.  Here is the rationale for my pick. 

As long as the Cards can keep it within 14 by the start of the 4^th quarter, they have a chance to cover or push.  If it’s close, I have less confidence in the Steelers ability to cover.  The Cardinals are designed to score points quickly.  The Steelers are not.  Kurt Warner has played in two Super Bowls and played well in both.  Big Ben has played in one and didn’t look very good against Seattle.  Seven is a lot of points for two teams that I don’t think are that far apart in talent.  Plus the Cardinals have the whole “we are way further than anyone thought, and still nobody believes in us” thing. 

Pick:  Cardinals

I also really like the under.

Conference Championships:  2-0

Playoffs:  6-4

There are three types of interviews.  The case based interview asks you to apply some basic knowledge to work through a problem for the interviewer.  This is supposed to show how well you reason through things.   The behavioral interview is designed to see how you react to certain situations.  You’ll know you are in one of these if you start getting questions like, “Tell me about a time when you were a leader…”  Finally, there is what I call the ad hoc.  That is where the interviewer has no real plan, and just plans on reviewing your resume and chatting with you. 

You may or may not know going in what kind of interview you are going to have, but it really doesn’t matter.   Answer any questions completely but succinctly;  don’t babble or ramble.  If the question can be answered with a “yes” or “no,” that’s a fine answer.  Try to speak in a conversational tone.  Keep everything positive and professional.  For example, if they ask about a time you worked through an issue with a classmate, don’t talk about how you threatened to kick somebody’s ass to get your way. 

Regardless of the type of interview, there should come a time when the interviewer asks “Do you have any questions for me?”  This is a critical turning point in the interview.  At least 50% of the people will say “Nope.”  That is the wrong answer. 

As soon as the interviewer asks for your questions, he is allowing you to control the interview.  You are calling the shots now. You should grab this opportunity as soon as it presents itself.  And, if you have done your homework and really want the job, you should have questions.   And these questions should serve at least one of three possible purposes:

1.       You genuinely want to know the answer.  This sounds painfully obvious, but many people don’t ask questions for fear of looking stupid.  This interview is as much for your education as the companies.  If you want to know, ask.

2.       You want to the answer to point to a perceived strength you have that other candidates might not.  For example, let’s say you interned at a similar company the previous summer.  You might ask:  “In your experience, have candidates that have interned at similar companies, such as XYZ, had an easier transition into your organization?”  If the interview says “yes,” then you can say something like “I thought my internship at XYZ would pay off.”  There is nothing wrong with highlighting your strengths for the job. 

3.       You want to show that have researched and have some understanding of the company or industry. 

If you do this correctly, your interviewer with think that you are really interested, you are qualified, and/or you actually know about their business.  Plus, if you ask questions and engage in conversation with the interviewer until your time is over, the interview will almost always end on a positive note.  People LOVE to talk about themselves, especially to people who seem interested in what they do every day.  This is so simple, so effective, and you’ll be amazed how few people actually do it. 

There are just a couple extra quick tips:

1.       Once you ask your question, let the interviewer complete their answer.  Constantly interrupting can be worse than asking no questions at all.

2.       Be ready for any answer, and don’t have all your questions follow a progression that requires a certain answer to set of answers. 

3.       Don’t be in a hurry to get all your questions asked.  Sometimes you run out of time.  That’s okay – Just asking 1 or 2 good questions puts you ahead of most candidates.

There are two primary camps when it comes to college recruiting:  the rabid and the apathetic.  Neither is perfect.  The rabid tend to waste a lot to time and energy, but the apathetic are, in a word, pathetic.   Seriously, if you are a college student, drunk, stoned, or otherwise killing time by reading this blog and willing to take only one piece of advice from some guy you’ve never met:  Unless you are definitely going to graduate school, you absolutely must participate in your college’s career planning program.  You’d be crazy not to.  It’s free and it’s the only time in your life multiple employers will be coming to you to give you a job.  If you wait until after you graduate to start this process, it’s going to take you several hours to accomplish what you can accomplish in 1 hour during on-campus recruiting.  Seriously, do it.  You can always turn down an offer, but you can’t accept one you didn’t get.

The next question is what kind of job you want.  If you’ve spent years studying history, sociology, or some other liberal arts major, you may not know where to start.  If you have no clue your industry, then start with where you’d like to live.  Sound silly?  Look, there are 168 hours in a week.  If you work 50, sleep for 60, you’ve got 58 hours in which you are going to be doing stuff in some place.  Whether or not you are going to like living there is key.  Career is important, but so is enjoying your non-working time.  Trust me, when you start working, you’ll find fun time is more important than you ever thought it would be. 

If location is a non-starter, look at starting salaries and determine a floor that works for you.  Maybe you have some interest in being a Congressional aide, but there’s no way you are willing to sacrifice the standard of living or debt to do that job for the roughly $25K per year.  Ideally, you want to make enough money to live a lifestyle that doesn’t require you to go in the hole.

One last thought:  Don’t over think this.  You are not committing for the rest of your life.  First jobs typically last 3-5 years.  As long as you are an at-will employee, you can quit whenever you want. 

Once you’ve got your preliminary work in order (resume complete, industry/location/pay level targeted) it’s time to decide the companies where you are going to send a resume.  Here are some FAQs for this step in the process:

Q:  To how many companies should I apply/drop a resume?

A:  In this economy, I’d cast as wide a net as possible.  Remember, a job is probably all that separates you and moving back in with your parents.  Unless you really value your mom’s cooking or like watching daytime TV, I’m guessing something short of your dream job will be acceptable.  Also, you can always opt out of the process with a company at any time, but you can’t opt in at a later step.  You would rather be the one saying “no” then sitting on the sidelines.  Just like you probably had a safety school or two, have several safety jobs.

Q:  What if I’m really interested in company, but I don’t meet one or more of their qualifications, such as my GPA?

A:  I’d send or drop my resume, and then call the HR representative and explain to him all the reasons why you are interested in their company, but that you are below one of their thresholds.  If it makes sense, explain why you miss one of the qualifications.  If it’s something like GPA, maybe you had a bad first year but have been pretty solid since then.  Then ask if you can be considered for an interview.  If the HR rep says “no” but you want a shot at this company badly, try to contact an executive (preferably an alumnus) and explain your situation to him.  Network with other alumni to get the right person and contact information.  The worst thing that will happen is they will blow you off.  If they do, screw them.  But I think you’ll find in many cases, they will appreciate your interest, and will give you an interview.

 Q:  I know what I want to do, but all the starting salaries in that industry are so low?  I’m not sure I can live on so little money.

A:   This is a big decision step in process.  The question you have to ask yourself is, “If I get this job, am I willing to make the lifestyle decisions , and maybe even incur some credit card debt, to do it?”  And I stress lifestyle decisions because the last thing you want to do is go $50K in the hole on credit cards to find out that interior design is not your cup of tea.  Only you can answer this question.

Q:  Due to the economy, my school has fewer companies than ever before, and hundreds of resumes for every job?  What can I do to get noticed?

A:   Quite simply, have a resume that addresses the companies stated needs.  Typically every company has a job description and list of qualifications, such as GPA, in every job posting.  If possible, tailor your resume to sound like the answer to the question.  If the description says “work in a team environment,” have items in your resume where you talk about working in a team environment.  If there is a qualification, like GPA, that you meet, make sure it’s on the resume.   Also, make sure your resume is bullet pointed, to the point, and otherwise easy to comprehend in 30 seconds, because that’s about all the time somebody is going to spend on it.  Avoid paragraphs and long sentences or narratives.  You want to make your resume as easy to pick as possible.  This may involve tailoring your resume to every job opportunity.  If you are in a very competitive environment, you gotta do what you gotta do win.  Remember, it’s a job or back to mom’s house.

Q:  One company that I’m interested in said they’d respond with an interviewee list by a certain date, but we are a week past that date and no one on campus has heard anything from them.  What should I do?

A:  Call the HR point of contact, or call the company, ask for HR, and ask what’s going on.  One myth is that companies, particularly large companies, must be organized in how they recruit.  Trust me when I tell you that is false. I once worked for a Fortune 500 company whose HR department was an unmitigated train wreck.  The company in question could be late for any number of reasons, but there is nothing wrong in calling to follow up when a posted date for anything is missed.  The same goes for any step in the process when a deadline is missed.  Give them a day or two, then call to find out what is going on.  And in case you are worried about being a pest, I’ve never heard of anybody losing an offer because they simply called to find out what was going on, as long as they were courteous and professional.

Next time I write about this, I’ll talk about how to nail your interview.

Eagles (-3.5) vs. CARDINALS

I can absolutely forgive Vegas for not giving the Cardinals a ton of credit.  If Jake Delhomme has even an average game, the Panthers have a real shot of winning.  The Eagles have won two tough games on the road, including a victory over the reigning Super Bowl Champs, and looked fairly impressive doing it.  This was a good Vegas line.  I mulled it over all week.

Ultimately, I think the Cardinals have 3 things going for them:

1)      They are at home, on a fast track, with no worries of weather issue to slow down their passing game.

2)      They have an experience QB who will be ready for every blitz the Eagles throw at them.

3)      They Cards are playing with house money.  They’ve already gone twice as far as anybody thought. 

And it was #3 that brought me over the Cardinals side.  Philly is an older team.  Yes, many of their guys have been in this spot before.  But if you listened to them talk this week, the theme was “you don’t get too many shots like this, and we definitely won’t get many more.”  Regardless of the result for the Cardinals, their season is a success.  And not many people think they can get to Tampa.  They have nothing to lose.  And nobody thinks they can get to Tampa.  For Reid, McNabb, and crew….the pressures on, and, regardless of being 9-5-1 and needing a minor miracle to even get into the playoffs, they are expected to win this game. 

I’m going with the high powered offense, the nobody-believes-in-us, and nothing-to-lose Cardinals.

Pick:  Cardinals

STEELERS (-5.5) vs.  Ravens

As soon as this line was posted Sunday night, I liked the Steelers to win, and have seen nothing this week to change that.  The reasons are simple:

1)      Finally, Willie Parker looks like the old Willie Parker

2)      Ben missed about 3 throws that could have made the Chargers game ugly earlier.  And his 3^rd down performance was quiet impressive.

3)      The Ravens played a very physical game last weekend, while the Steelers pulled most of their starters in the 4^th.

4)      If the Ravens get down early, I’m not sure they have the offensive firepower to come back.

I’ve doubted them all year, and I doubted them last week.  But I think the Steelers are going to Tampa.

Pick:  Steelers

Last Week:  1-3

Playoffs:  4-4

Before, we get to it, let me share my perspective on life with you.  There are bad things in this world.  People have problems.  They are sick.  They are poor because they don’t have a choice.  They live in crappy places and have little hope of doing better.  And I have nothing but compassion for those people. The rest of us, a vast majority in the United States have things pretty good.  Really good in some cases. So why all this complaining about mundane crap?  Every day is another day closer to the end of your life – you can choose to be miserable or you can choose to enjoy life.  Up to you.   Without further ado and in honor of our recently completed holidays, I give you our first whine:  Holiday Stress.

I do recognize the holidays pose two areas of legitimate stress, so let’s address them now.  If you feel sad because you are lonely or if you are upset because you are broke and can’t get your kids anything for Christmas, fine, you have a legitimate worry. 

Everybody else – get over yourself.  Seriously, I’ve hear everything from being stressed about seeing your family to being stressed about what to buy to being stresses about the debt that comes after all that Christmas shopping.  Are you kidding me?  There are 19 year old American men getting shot at in Iraq, and we are fretting about what to get you sister who already has everything.  No wonder the rest of the world hates us.

Here’s a tip:  If spending time with your family stresses you out, shorten or eliminate your visit.  Work or school is always a solid excuse.  If shopping stresses you out, end the gift exchange with people.  On this front,   you will be amazed at the reception.  Many people will be all for it.  Look, it’s fun to buy Christmas toys for kids.  It’s decidedly less fun to buy snowman dish towels for your mom.  We waste a lot of time and money in this country buying useless crap for people simply to check off the “bought them something” box.  Just because you always have doesn’t mean you always have to.  If it’s too much, eliminate it. 

There are several things an adult has to do.  Most people have to work to make a living.  If you have kids, you have to raise and care for them.  But, for some reason, adults in this country have some weird sense of obligation around things that are not required.  It’s Christmas, I have to buy presents.  I might not be able to afford them, or enjoy doing it, but I have to because if I don’t, people will think I’m weird, poor, whatever.  Who cares?  Life is short.  If you don’t like or it hurts you to do it and it’s not an absolute must, drop it.